Meeting a Real Life Muppet at Bako National Park, Borneo, Malaysia

Getting to Bako National Park

After a few nights in cushy Kuching, it was time for a trial separation with air conditioning and experience part of the real motivator for coming to Borneo at our first national park. Borneo has a whopping 35 national parks within its boundaries so you will not be challenged to find one wherever you go. However, a lot of them are not easily accessible without a car, plane or even a soothing (ha!) walk in dense jungle for many days, which can also be quite expensive. Thus, for our first time around, we chose Bako NP, one that was easily accessible by bus from Kuching.

The majority of people go as a day trip from Kuching, but we knew that would not offer the intimate experiences we were looking for, so we chose to stay two nights. Despite a little discomfort, this choice was undoubtedly the best and we were overwhelmed by nature and wildlife. But first we had to get there…

En route to Bako, we crossed the local ferry across the Sarawak River in Kuching for the last time and destiny would be for us to make one more friend in the process while waiting in line.

This time, it was in the form of Rabaiyah and her daughter. We hadn’t even chatted to Rabaiyah for more than 30 seconds, when she jumped in front of the queue and generously paid for our fare, which was quite an unnecessary, but obviously sweet surprise. We then even exchange phone numbers and have been trading texts ever since. These Bornean people are above and beyond kind and are starting to a have a similar air of hospitality as the Jordanians, a tough “competitor” to beat.

From the other side of the river, we were easily able to walk to the “Open Air Market” (on google) and pick up a bus, leaving hourly, which would take us 45 minutes out to Bako National Park for less than $.25 each.

When we arrived to the edge of Bako NP, we had to register for the park, and sign up for a private boat to ferry us into the wild. Had we arrived earlier, we could have shared the steep $40 (cash only!!) round trip cost with others, but unfortunately the confirmation email we received from the park didn’t offer this possibility, which was a bit frustrating…

….but swimming our way there could have probably been more frustrating. It would sorta suck to lose an appendage by a man-eating croc.

The ride was only about 20 minutes, but definitely brought back memories of our trip into the Amazon a year ago!

Nearby we saw many precarious platforms used for fishing before arrived to the exposed South China Sea.

Mangrove swamp lining the shoreline were swaying with Macaque monkeys.

Arriving to our destination. Not too shabby. In the meantime, other castaways, mostly in tour groups, returning from their day trips.

When then officially arrived to the national park headquarters, shoeless from wading through the croc infested waters. What a way to begin our jungle adventure. 🤣

The walk back to our room, which would usually feature several encounters with the “Borneo bearded pig,” or hipster hog (our name, not official 🤣) that live, and are protected in the park. The wild pigs, who inhabit rainforests and mangrove swamps, excavate massive holes all over the property using their noses to root for tubers. Essentially, like a mole, but one you can’t whack…aka, a landscaper’s nightmare.

The accommodations provided by the park were easily categorized and reserved online in advance. The room was very basic, included no A/C but did include a comfortable pillow, a cold shower, (you wouldn’t want a hot one anyhow,) and a super strong industrial fan to save the day and blow off any intruding mosquitos. It was surprisingly relatively critter free otherwise! The cost for each night was $21. Well worth it for the chance to experience the jungle in the early morning and at night!

Using the lodge’s cafe for food was our only option, so our meal the first night was Sarawak Laksa as well as the usual fried noodles with veggies. It cost about $6 for both meals which is what we averaged for meals over our time at the lodge. Very reasonable and great quality as well!

Monkey Paradise

A big draw in heading to Bako National Park was the chance to see a probosicus monkey, or what appears to be a real life muppet, in the wild. These fascinating large primates are found only on the island of Borneo and also, rarely seen in zoos worldwide which made it our first experience seeing one…ever.

We got to see three up close and numerous at a distance. They are amusing to observe because their bulbous noses comically bob up and down as they eat and their large bodies are more awkward than smaller monkeys.

That said, they have the largest noses of any primate, sometimes exceeding 4 inches (10.1 cm) in length!

Not surprisingly, males have much larger noses than females, which create an echo chamber that amplifies the sounds they make to woo their mates. The bigger the nose, the bigger the sound, so yes in this world…size does matter. Additionally, their noses look a lot like…well you get the idea.

This particular proboscis hung out regularly near the lodge and although he wasn’t into fried noodles and rice, like the macaques, he loved dining on the flowers and leaves of this tree.

That is quite a schnozz. Unfortunately we didn’t get to see his female counterpart but evidently, their noses are quite different. Still long, but snobbishly upturned like a snout and with gaping nostrils.

The Malay name for proboscis monkeys, orang belanda, means “Dutchman.” Originally, the joke was that, with their big noses and portly bellies, the monkeys resembled the Malay peoples’ European colonizers. 🤣(NE Primate Conservancy. Org) This guy chills by the waterfront with his giant beer belly (actually a four-chamber stomach) spread across his lap. We really wanted to take him a cold one and roll over a futbol match to complete his look.

They’re surprisingly graceful in their movements. They also have big feet with webbed fingers, which is an adaptation rarely found in primates. Because of this, they are some of the best swimmers of the primates, alongside us. They spend most of their lives in the trees, but this one seems to be adapting to lodge life and having people nearby. Most of the ones we saw were much more skittish.

Not so skittish, the long-tailed macaque, which like everywhere we’ve been are regular lurkers around anything that resembles food. Also, you should never look them square in the eye if they are close to you because they view it as aggressive behavior.

Tourists are warned not to feed them but they’ve clearly been conditioned somewhere along the way. I wonder why….🤔 We were so baffled by the number of day trippers who left their scraps of lunch food on the tables rather than taking it inside to throw away, so of course this happens. Granted the park should at least put up signs to reinforce this, because some seem totally oblivious….😬🙈🤣🙈🤣

The cleaning crew at Bako…just waiting to get busted.

Exploring Bako National Park

Although the highlight of Bako was undoubtedly the Muppet-like probiscus monkeys (see yesterday’s post), our two nights included so many other reasons that made it worth staying on site…the most stunning sunset we’d seen in years, a night walk with loads of creepy crawlers, an abundance of independent (brutally hot) hiking opportunities and an encounter with an asshole of an ape.

Our first trek involved taking a two hour hike to Pandan Kecil Beach overlook. Here’s Mandy, at the beginning of the trail, ready to fight off the macaques with her twig of a stick.

As soon as the boardwalks end, the well-marked trail signs signals the adventure is beginning, as the trail turns into a knobby and quite literal…jungle gym of roots and trip hazards.

Fortunately, it wasn’t all like this and included many new types of terrain, including idyllic jungle streams.

The park is also covered in pretty little pitcher plants, open for business! You probably remember from “Weird Science” that these carnivorous plants trap their prey with their slippery rims leading to a deep cavity with digestive liquid. The lid of the plant then closes making it virtually impossible for their meal to escape. Yummers!

The overlook of the beach at the trail’s end. We would have continued onward to the beach, but were already drenched in sweat and were losing our daylight.

One big advantage to staying overnight is access to the night walks, which are guided by park staff and cost only about $3/person. So, after our second shower of the day, we donned ourselves in long-sleeves, pants and bug spray to head out in the continuing oppressive equatorial heat for our night walk. We were first introduced to a poster with all the critters of Sarawak on it. Note the fines at the top for messing with the wildlife….$10k in fines and five years in jail. Good for them.

Almost as soon as it started one of the guides whisper-yelled “Slow Loris!!!” as he began to cast a flashlight beam slowly amongst a colossal tree. He was too far away to take a photo of, but we were able to see his big beady eyes hanging out up there.

This photo, which mostly looks like nothing is actually of fireflies. Swarms of them. We’ve seen lots of them in our lives but never so many!!

Instead, the photos we mostly got that night were of creepy crawlies, like this female walking stick. She was about a middle finger in length, which is appropriate consider she also bites. Also, a perfectly camouflaged green vine snake which we walked right under. Fortunately these guys won’t cause any harm.

A proboscis monkey, less successfully camouflaged and probably growing very grouchy because he was trying to snooze and we’re all blasting flashlights on him.

Another walking stick, but this one was male and he was about the size of a whole hand! 😬

Another palm sized critter…this time in spider form. A different walking stick…clearly from another mother.

A delicately designed and quite poisonous centipede.

Little froggies everywhere!! And here we thought bamboo was all soft and cuddly…

The next morning, after the day trippers arrived, we took photos of primates, taking photos of primates.

Before we headed out on a 4-5 hour hike, we made lots of water at the “tape water” station using our Grayl water filter to save the environment and our wallet. And yes, it took this brown water and made it totally drinkable.

Beginning our 5.8k walk at about 9 am on the Lingtang Trail…

…we saw a wild durian tree. It drops tiny coconut resembling durians which are inedible.

An extremely distorted proboscis high up in the trees. We saw lots more while hiking but none as photogenic as the cosmopolitan ones near our camp! It was around this time, 10:30, that Mandy was growing soggy, (glistening,) and extremely grumpy. In the punishing heat, she also morphed into a dude. Thus, she decided to pivot back on the loop we were on because the beginning of the loop trail was far closer than the end.

She’d hiked no further than five minutes in the opposite direction from Greg when, on a bend in the trail, she encountered a quite edgy and fangy macaque alpha male guarding the bridge she needed to cross like a total troll. And unfortunately, because of the bend, she made accidental eye contact at about 4 meters away. The macaque revealed its fangs and began to advance towards her when she screamed and sprinted back up the trail to Greg, triggering a gaspy and sobby panic attack. Fortunately the alpha didn’t follow, but it was definitely terrifying. 🙈😬 Thus we decided a couple things at that point…never hike alone in the jungle of Borneo, AND to finish the loop we started….

…which was hella suffocating and arduous. Especially when the sun slipped from behind the clouds, although she did reflect the colors of this copper colored creek quite nicely.