One week in Bangkok. Although you might have already started humming Murray Head lyrics and are picturing us dodging lady boys in Patpong Distict, gallivanting gorgeous wats and meandering along floating markets, this wasn’t the Bangkok we experienced. We actually did many of those things last time we came so this time, we plopped ourselves in one neighborhood, vowing to give Mandy time to recover, as well as live as a local in one place. We settled on the Sathon/Lumphini neighborhood thanks to a housesit we scored and then stayed there in the days following. 

Stopping for the highly addictive Thai iced tea on the street became a regular delicious and refreshing occurrence. ($.60-$1) Nothing tastes quite like it in the heat! Never had one? It’s made from strongly-brewed black tea, often spiced with ingredients such as star anise, crushed tamarind, and cardamom and then delightfully sweetened with sugar and sweetened condensed milk. All over ice, of course. 

Also, I’m sure you’ll notice the masks. We actually learned that the reason (most) people were wearing masks was due to the unhealthy levels of air pollution and not the Coronavirus. In fact, most people seemed quite calm and from what we saw, store and pharmacy shelves remained stocked. 

Probably our favorite thing about SE Asia so far is undoubtedly the night markets, which are seemingly everywhere. We stumbled into this one about a 15-minute walk from our hostel while we were just wondering around. There’s nothing quite like pulling up a plastic chair with a group of locals, having disjointed conversations or watching them grin as you sprinkle what they consider to be feeble spice levels on your food.

In addition to the spices, you then take handfuls of glorious fresh veg toppings to toss on your dish. Our healing bowl of noodles ($1) featured  the most  tender scallops perhaps we’ve ever had. 

The massive cauldrons of the soup. The one on top is clearly for foreigners and the chili laden one below is for the real (Thai) men and ladies.  

The brilliant chef! She was so cheerful and adorable.

Our housesit was the reason we ended up in this neighborhood. We watched Khao Soi (the cat, not the dish from north Thailand) on the 8th floor of this lovely apartment overlooking a  green space. We loved the “Central Park” feel of the scene before us and loved watching this slightly spastic and endearing kitty even more. 

Arriving to our first Thai lunch food hall where you will find…not one lick of English, a completely useless google camera app and a sea of faces unlike you’re own. The best part? All the signage is on the outside of the stalls so you can’t even point to which picture you want because the people cooking can’t see it. To order, because many of the cooks didn’t speak English either, we had to get a little crafty and ask someone in line to say what we wanted in Thai to the cooks. We felt a little silly, but it was a good way to strike up a conversation with a local! The food, as usual, was amazing, and was $1 an entree.

The menus. At least there was pictures 🙂 

As mentioned, our goal for the week was to send Mandy’s injured hip on the road to recovery so she kicked off the week by visiting the “Pain Away” Clinic. This state-of-the-art clinic had 188 five-star reviews and offered her a consultation, deep tissue massage, an ultrasound which used electric current, some chiropractic and Physical Therapy. It wasn’t super cheap at $69, but was still far cheaper than she’d ever had in the States for such services. And the best part is, it indeed put her on the mend:) 

Speaking of quality healthcare, while in a nearby shopping mall cooling off we discovered Add Life, which is a preventative health clinic promoting check-ups for all age groups. The 40-50 one (because yes, that’s now our bracket) includes the following: complete brain check, joint/bone check, heart check, cancer screenings, and lady’s check. Yes, that also means multiple MRI’s, EKG and Alzheimer’s testing. The cost? $350 for men and $400 for women. Appointments are four hours. Considering this would cost thousands and thousands out of pocket in the US, and you would you ever be privy to such a useful checkup at this stage in your life, we are seriously considering it when we come back through Bangkok.  

While the white people are all trying to get tans, an example of how some Asians want to be white. This is so bizarre. Why can’t we all just be happy with who we are?!

Wandering our way into Korea Town, we found a food court with lots of Korean BBQ options. 

Settling into our next place for five nights in Bangkok, we loved the Apartment 45 Hostel ($22/night.) Not only did it have the cutest “security dog” ever, Chatree, it had a cozy double room, was incredibly quiet, and had ample space for recovery and work. It felt like being more in a chic coffee shop than a hostel thanks to its decorative flair, free barista-style coffee and breakfast each morning. We loved it and highly recommend for anyone coming to Bangkok. 

Greg trying to get the hardened security dog to smile. 

Traffic from a pedestrian overpass.

Need prescription drugs? Thailand is the place to get em! In fact you can even get Viagra right on the street (you know, if you’re in need.) Mandy opted for a pharmacy for (different) refill medication and got 100 pills for 1 baht each ($.03). This same medication costs about $.30 a pill in the States without insurance. Doing the math, this is about a 90% markup. 

We met up with a Portland acquaintance Dana and his Thai girlfriend Som for dinner and drinks one night. We mistakenly chose a craft beer bar where Greg reluctantly paid a whopping $8 for a bottle of beer (because that’s what craft beer costs here!) Thus, we were happy to allow Dana and Som to guide us to a much more budget-friendly local eatery called Nana Market where we gorged on fish, seafood curry, and pad Thai.  Dana has been living in Bangkok for the past five months so we were thrilled for them to show us a local’s touch and learn more about what it’s like to live in Thailand. 

Nana Market. It may not look too fancy, but as usual, the food was divine.

Usually we hand wash, so we’re loving how cheap doing our laundry has become in SE Asia. A full load of self service laundry is 20 baht or $.63. 

The best part is the machines are…everywhere…right on the street!

Another street scene as we crossed into Lumphini Park. Crossing the streets in Bangkok is like constantly playing a game of leapfrog. 

We weren’t expecting to enjoy our time in Bangkok’s green spaces so much, but they’ve done a great job with them, especially Lumphini Park. A lot of parks have gazebos, but we loved seeing them with an Asian flair. This is the Thai/Chinese friendship pavilion. In fact, we saw lots of signs, banners and tributes devoted to Thailand’s friendship with many different countries, including Belgium, Denmark, Austria, China and the US. It occurred to us we’ve never seen such a similar token of public appreciation done in the States, but what a nice concept.

The adorable clock tower in Lumphini Park looks like it fell right out of a storybook.

Another fun find in the park? It’s covered in at least 400 monitor lizards, some up to 3 meters (10 feet) in length. 

Seriously we loved this park. A 142-acre oasis in the heart of the Thai metropolis. Another FYI, it’s named for Buddha’s birthplace, Lumphini in Nepal which we (almost) went to.

Characteristic swan paddle boats, the storybook clock and the contrasting pops of modern embellishments. 

Time to get some grub at the night market! Eek. We didn’t actually mean eating grubs…. But…they were there, and Thai people seem to love when fearless white girls make faces, so Mandy took them up on their free sample offers. Plus they were fried which makes anything taste better, right? Grubs, even in fried state, were not overly tasty, not surprisingly. Mushy and slightly sweet. Mandy said she much preferred the other creepy crawly she ate…

Which was…crickets! Mandy’s vegetarian tendencies juggled the fact that, well they’re bugs…with her need for an adventurous snack option. In order to create fried cricket snacks, they first take a handful of live crickets (at least they get to enjoy delicious mango while they await their death sentence.) Then they sizzle them with salt, some spices and oil, and that’s it, ready to enjoy! They were crunchy and salty and actually quite tasty. Mandy says she definitely would eat more. (And in fact, there will be much more…) They are chalked with protein, after all. ?

Switching over to more Greg-friendly options, we first tried a variety of fried balls stuffed with different types of fish and seafood. They were served with strange sauces. One seemed mayonnaise-y and one seemed like hoisin sauce. 

Sushi options galore. Although our mouths started watering when we saw it, we steered clear not knowing how long it had been sitting out in the heat of the night. 

A variety of salads and delightful veggie options.

Mandy catches Greg mid bite.

Piles and piles of the freshest and cheapest greens and herbs. Omg.

Hmmm. This is a new one which we actually first plucked off a tree in Ko Lipe. Meet the red rose apple (which is shaped like a pear.) Rose apples give off a highly aromatic scent reminiscent of a blooming rose, and offer a sweet floral flavor, comparable to rose water. They also offer a zesty apple-like crunch. Two thumbs up! 

We didn’t really know what these were when we went up to the stand and indicated we wanted one using the universal (we thought) index finger sign. Ignoring this, the lady bagged us six and threw them in a bag before we could language challenge her. Fortunately, they were tasty. Basically puffed rice (think Rice Krispies) drizzled with a syrup resembling caramel. 

Thailand has always been quite proud of their king and you will find his picture displayed everywhere. Vajiralongkorn ascended the throne as His Majesty King Rama X in 2016 when he took over for his father King Bhumibol Adulyadej. His death sent shockwaves through the country as he was overall a popular ruler who was constantly striving to improve the lives of his people, especially in rural Thailand. Vajiralongkorn’s coronation took place three years later in 2019 because he wanted the country to mourn his father first.

When our WiFi at the hotel went out, we discovered a team of about 20 men trying to sort through this mess.

Public transport in Bangkok makes getting around a breeze. Cost is about $.60-$1.25 a ride depending on how far you go.

Wait, wait…is that a…? Why, yes. It is!

Only in Bangkok do you find a restaurant and accompanying gift shop devoted to condoms and other forms of contraceptives in their most imaginative form.

You will find everything from chandeliers, to flowers, to characters galore (including…umm…Santa?!) made entirely from johnnies and birth control pill packets.. 

It’s not only for shock value and gimmicks though, this clever restaurant was created “to promote better understanding and acceptance of family planning and to generate income to support various development activities of the Population and Community Development Association (PDA).”* 

*They also guarantee their food will not cause pregnancy. Plus, it was free to look! And if you dine here you can help support safe sex educational programs in Thailand. 

More tasty food to wrap up this round in Thailand. 1) a minced pork and tofu gravy (which was a bit surprising) 2) a forest papaya  salad (also a bit surprising when we discovered snails and a small crab buried inside the forest) and; 3) a regular papaya salad with no surprises.

We’ll be back to Thailand in the next few months so no wrap-up yet. See you see, Smiley People.