Day One at Wat Pa Tam Wua

If you’re looking for true slow…make that meaningful and mindful…travel, consider an extended stay at a Buddhist monastery for a genuinely profound experience. A silent meditation retreat is an item both of us had on our “60 by 60 Lists” which we managed to check off recently at Wat Pa Tam Wua about 1.5 hours west of Pai in Northern Thailand. 

Of course, when we signed up we didn’t realize this rule of silence is not really a Buddhist practice, but is generally favored by Westerners due to their ideas being influenced by their knowledge or practices of other religions.

For that reason we ultimately decided to forgo the silent element and simply immerse ourselves in the rigid structure and lifestyle that comes from living three nights at a monastery. Three nights, where time slows so much, that it felt like three weeks. 

This experience is not a cakewalk, nor a relaxing yoga or spa retreat. It can be introspective… it can be liberating… it can be raw…it can be painful…and it can utterly bring you to the present moment…if you let it. After all, whenever you are able to observe your mind, you are no longer trapped in it. And the grounds of the monastery…blanketed with soft grasses, lush forest, towering limestone peaks, and a tranquil stream, which was accessorized by delicate rock art creations…was an idyllic place to do just this…

To find our way to this serene environment, we took a mini van from the Chiang Mai Bus Station (Arcade 2) toward Mae Hong Son which we booked through Prempracha Transport for about $9/each. We passed through Pai, and after a five hour journey, we hollered at the driver to let us off at “Tam Wua” which was easily distinguishable thanks to a colossal green billboard which welcomes all to practice meditation and vipassana. It also proclaims an avid reminder that “Loving kindness unites people from all over the world.” 

We would soon learn the truth of this statement as we’d come together with over 130 individuals ranging from all parts of Asia, Europe, Canada, China, and most notably, large numbers of peace-seeking Israelis, which is not the least bit surprising as they desire to escape the chaos and conflict within their country. 

From the road, it was about a one kilometer walk. It was here we tossed down our bags and decided to eat the rest of our packed lunch….fish…along the edge of the road. After all, we wouldn’t dare eat in the van for fear of smell-shaming, nor could we take it into a world surviving on plant-based food.  

After downing our quite tasty lime and spice soaked tilapia, we arrived to the entrance of the forest monastery where we checked in with a German volunteer, who helped people check in with English, while her counterpart helped people in Chinese. Here we had to give copies of our passport, and sign the registration book, although no reservation is required in advance. There was also no money exchanged, because a stay at the monastery, including all your food, is completely free. Of course, donations are accepted, but there is no pressure whatsoever. You can stay a minimum of two nights and a maximum of ten. 

We were then taken to an area where the monastery laundry is done and instructed to pick out our white(ish) (some baby pink or blueish tinted) clothes, which would become our attire for the next three days, although you were encouraged to help yourself to a new set daily. We were also given sleeping mats with less plushiness than a yoga mat, two small blankets, and a pillow-ish formation which felt more like a firmly padded brick. 

Next, it was time to part ways, as Mandy was guided to the female dorm and Greg to the male’s. For those complaining mattresses in Thailand are hard, this will give a swift reality check of what hard can actually be. We’d soon discover that in a monastery, the term “dorm” is not the same as in a hostel because there are no beds. You simply locate an empty spot on the (very clean) tile floor, preferably near a wall so you have something to lean against when you’re reading by 8:30 pm, roll out your mat, and set up your open concept sleeping pod for the remainder of your stay. 

The dorm rooms each had two bathrooms, with blessedly hot water, as well as outdoor bathrooms with simple showers and (western) toilets. Fortunately, we’d brought toilet paper because this was not included in the free stay. 

The outside of the dorms where Mandy stayed. 

We then stored our shoes, and changed from our impure street clothes into an angelic/orderly-looking ensemble. From here, we reported back to the registration desk where the receptionist gave us an orientation, which included reviewing the mandatory daily schedule, and in true German style, informed us not to be late, and about a long list of behavioral rules. These mostly involved how to sit in the presence of a monk or images of Buddha, forbidding alcohol/marijuana usage, not touching the opposite sex, and only doing yoga in private places because the “Happy Baby” pose is not “for monk eyes.” Of course, there were also many rules on cell phones, which should be set to silent and advised not to use at all throughout the duration of your stay though discreet photos and used in privacy were okay. These rules were naturally broken…a lot. Other than the few photos, we mostly took a digital detox which was incredibly refreshing and therapeutic. 

After our talking to, we walked around the perimeter of the facility to get a lay of the land, which featured this magnificent golden stupa as its showpiece.

We also discovered where to refill our water bottles, which was filtered through a reverse osmosis system….

….where to wash our dishes….where to dry our dishes….

….where to get coffee and hot water for tea (conveniently placed under more reminders of schedule and rules), and the monastery library which included books in Thai, Chinese, English and a very small section of German, probably because they all speak English anyways. 

At 6:00, we were ordered to report for our first official monastery activity which would include the evening ritual of 1.5 hours of chanting and meditation. Men were directed to the first four rows, and women to the last 10. Mandy, who particularly enjoyed what we’ll call “chanting light” during yoga training, was looking forward to this. Unfortunately, monk chanting was a bit more challenging for both of us than we expected. Firstly, getting used to the mat set-up was a learning process. Although there are multiple cushions and even chair options to pacify beginners, figuring out the best orientation to suit your body wasn’t as easy as it might sound. 

And 2/3’s of the room didn’t offer a chair option at all. We learned quickly to score a chair…especially for evening chanting which carries on for 50 minutes before you switch to meditation, which is mostly unguided, in a darkened room. 

So what made the chanting so challenging? Every line was repeated in three languages. While the Sanskrit language flowed somewhat melodically with its two or three letter words, and the English was obviously at least readable, the Thai was downright…grueling. Every word was tripped over by everyone expect the monks, and it felt like your tongue was being yanked out and pounded heartily with a rolling pin. By our third night, it quite easy to identify the newbies in the crowd because they usually peered around the room with complete bewilderment, before giving in and letting go, which ultimately is the whole purpose anyhow. 

Because we meditate regularly, we were much more in our element as the 20-minute meditation “break” began…the delightful darkened filling to what would be a chanting sandwich. What we weren’t prepared for was the end of the meditation when we reached nirvana very quickly…in other words, all the lights were tossed back on, temporarily blinding the crowd. Okay, so some things took some getting used to…

The optional silent badge, which Mandy considered doing at first….until she read in the back of the chanting book (which is full of useful information, which nobody told us, by the way) that… “remaining silent does not aid Vipassana Meditation in any way, it is not being natural and relaxed. Buddha never advise to practice Silent Meditation. One who practice Silent Meditation still talking, but talk inside not let the voice come outside. So practice Silent Meditation did not make your mindfulness became stronger or sharper. The way that will help to develop mindfulness is to think carefully before talking, and practice awareness while you are talking.”

After chanting ended at 7:30, we checked out the monastery shop, which is basically the monastery’s version of a night club. Except this night club is where one where everyone must leave by 9:50 pm, and instead of alcohol, they’re devouring processed goodies which must sustain the students anytime after 11 am, when the last meal of the day is served. Fortunately, we’d planned ahead and brought our own. It was definitely the rowdiest place in the monastery, and didn’t appeal to us for a long visit, so we continued on with an evening walk, where we were gifted with spotting our first flying squirrel. From here…we had nothing to do but wave good night…and head to our separate floor spaces to pop a few melatonins. 5:00 would come very soon…

Day Two (And Every Other Day)

After a dreamy night’s sleep on the dorm’s plush tile floor, in a room permeated by the hum of a chainsaw snorer (for one of us), phone alarms started buzzing and chiming at five minute intervals. According to the schedule, we were supposed to be waking up to meditate in our rooms from 5-6:15 a.m. Most people laid there like potato sacks until 6ish, while a select few popped up like pieces of toast ready to be buttered. Greg and I, in our separate dorms, were somewhere in between…moving mindfully (and quite mid-fortieshly) into our normal morning meditation and stretching routines before meeting up with one another around 6:15 for a cup of coffee in the dining area. 

The first full day, like everyday…was exactly the same and officially began at 6:30.

At this time, we were to bring a bowl of sticky rice, provided by the lovely kitchen staff, to the adjoining meditation hall. Here, we would form five lines…three for the women and two for the men, seated in a cross-legged position and facing inwards. As we waited to serve the monks their morning alms, or offerings, it was quite interesting to observe the people around us. Some were meditating. Some were yawning. Some were shifting endlessly. Many detail-oriented women were chopping their sticky rice into bite-size spoonfuls making gentle clinking noises in the tin bowl, (while the men left theirs in a gummy snowballed blob). Another woman tried to coral an ant from cruising into the line of people, and nearly had a silent freak-out when a woman, arriving at 6:29, almost plopped atop him. 

Soon after, the five saffron-draped monks entered the room to accept their breakfast, beginning with the first line of women. Through observation, we quickly learned the proper way to give the rice to the monks, was to come upon your knees, bring the rice bowl to your forehead and then place one spoonful into the spacious tin drum that each carried. Yes, sticky rice is what they eat for their first meal of the day though we truly hope they have at least some soy sauce tucked back in their rooms to season it with. 

The Buddha altar at the front of the room where the monks sat during meditation and chanting practice. 

After the alms ceremony, the crowd (mindfully) buzzed to the, once again, segregated food lines to dish our own breakfasts into the same tin bowl. Breakfast was usually simple, while lunch more filling and elaborate. All was, of course, entirely vegan. 

The first breakfast was in the bottom right…rice with steamed cabbage and roasted chickpeas on top. The lunches, which were served each day at 11 a.m. offered many more options including our favorite…pumpkin curry. All in all, the food was more than satisfactory and we couldn’t ask for more considering the complimentary price. 

The dining hall. About half the tables were reserved for the people who wished to remain silent…and the others, normally with muted travel chatter.

Following breakfast, we had a break of about 30 minutes before we reported back to the meditation hall for our first two-hour meditation chunk of the day. They made it quite easy for beginners because these two hours were segmented into three types of meditation…one hour of walking, 30 minutes of sitting, and 25 minutes of lying down. 

The morning walking meditation involved the men trailing the monks, and the women trailing the men in a silent parade through the monastery grounds, placing one foot diligently in front of the other, operating at the veritable velocity of a snail. 

This was powerful, particularly for Mandy, because it took her back to a similar time in 2022 when she was retraining her body to walk again in much the same manner. This, combined with meditative breath, the sounds of rushing water, blissfully melodic bird song, and the cool damp ground beneath our bare feet and it was a perfect recipe to start the day on the right foot…quite literally…

That is…until….Dammit! I mean, darn it…ouch!!! What the crap was that?! Mandy felt a sharp sting of something on her upper leg and then…holy sh%^%t!!! Another sting. But worse!! She had no choice but to covertly peep down the fortunately stretchy waistband of her white orderly pants, to find a large ant poised and ready to issue a third sting on her upper thigh. Yes, that little f%^*cker had cruised all the way from the ground down the freeway of her entire leg before latching on to truly test her awareness of the present moment. She scooped him out swiftly, trying not to cause a scene, just as he took another scrumptious bite of her flesh. 

Although killing the jerk would have been quite satisfying, she tossed him on the ground in a merit that surely would bring good karma and continued walking and breathing through the pain. 

A day later, the three stings had swelled to the size of a coin and the demonic itchiness began.

This ants in the pants incident was quite a test of tolerance because unfortunately there was nothing in the monastery’s medicine cabinet to assist, nor had we restocked our anti-itch cream, but she finally made it through, four days later, in Pai, they were still healing, although the pain and itchiness had started to subside. Whew! 😰 

After our 11 am lunch, we began our second walking meditation of the day which took us deep into the enchanted forest…this time with sandaled feet though the majority remained barefoot. Any pain and suffering quickly diminished as we witnessed the line of white bodies steadily weave their way through the woods. It was a serene moment neither one of us will ever forget. 

After this, we returned to the meditation hall for our hour of sitting and lying meditations. Although you’re supposed to remain awake and alert when you lie down, several people in the crowd seemed to take advantage of the opportunity for a snooze, as made evident by the gentle symphony of snoring. 

The monastery supports two types of meditation…Samatha and Vipassana. The former emphasizes bringing a mind that is not peaceful to the state of peace, and a mind that is not happy to a state of happiness. It combines developing inner peace and concentration together. The purpose of Vipassana is to know the truth of our life. When practiced together, it is possible to see the true nature of body and mind until Nirvana (enlightenment) is attained. 

After our second meditation session of the day, we had an hour of free time to shower, read, sleep or walk around the property. We did all of the above, including checking out the expansive vegetable garden where a lot of the monastery’s food comes from, and the private cabins, called “kutis,” which apparently are reserved for people who are staying an extended period, or are 70+, although we heard they still don’t have real beds, but just an empty room. 

The laundry facility was underneath one of the kutis, while the clotheslines were strung along the lawn. 

At 4:00 pm, we got the chance to give back to the monastery for an hour. The chore situation was interesting, however, and kind of a free-for-all with no assignments, which might not be the best idea for certain helicopter mom generations. You were just supposed to choose to do something that “spoke to you” and start working. This led to the majority of people raking and/or shuffling leaves around on the giant lawns. We decided to tackle the peaceful forest trail in hopes that we could save someone from picking up another ant, or worse, centipede bite. 

After all, the former Ranger Greg knows a thing or two about trail maintenance. The new uniform may have declined a bit in sex appeal, however. 🤣 

This also gave us a chance to check out the monk’s cabins more closely, which were quite cozy looking and even featured air conditioning. 

And soon, the cycle would begin again as we entered into evening chanting. This rhythm continued for three days until the jolly Saffron Smurf would bless and give us our parting gift…one that we’ll always cherish as we search to find true peace, and the Buddha within ourselves. 

Long Tat, the lead monk, resembling a jolly, yet whispered, Saffron Smurf, gave us a beautiful gift and chatted to us before our departure. He regaled the story of how long ago he gave up his beloved barbecue to live at the monastery for he’d arrived in a strictly vegetarian land. One day, he was sitting in the a cave deep in meditation and a snake slithered across his lap. Naturally, the weight and surprise of the snake awakened him from his trance and upon looking at it, he quickly realized he not only had a snake, but a cobra, draped between his legs. In utter disbelief, he said to the snake, “I no eat you…so you no eat me!” The snake, paying no attention to him, miraculously continued maneuvering across his lap until he’d vacated the cave. 

Although we obviously didn’t achieve enlightenment, as this can take dedicated work for years, we certainly left with a greater sense of peace and tranquility than when we arrived. After all, some of the most beautiful things in life are when you get out of your comfort zone. 

The ride from the monastery was 1.5 hours to get back to Pai. We were so exhausted, but also so fulfilled. The German couple we chatted with on the ride had just finished a four week massage course in Bangkok before a whole week at the monastery. Wow! Talk about some vigorous personal development. So many gifts can happen in this part of the world.